Schmergo
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Post by Schmergo on Mar 3, 2007 9:37:59 GMT -5
One day, I will make a TV show for the BBC where I do stupid stuff all day long and let it be filmed and get MONEY FOR IT! Like Saturday Night Live, but more surreal.
My sidekick will be a panda, wearing heavy gold bling, but he'll talk with a strong English accent. He'll keep trying to talk like a gangster, but everyone will laugh at him, because pandas are only part black and the rest of them is pure white. And this one is British. His name will be Xylios, because it's awesome and a random bunch of keys I just pressed.
And there will be a man who falls asleep on EVERYTHING. Like, I'll be walking down the street, and you see this guy asleep on a park bench in the background, and I'll keep walking and the same guy will be asleep propped against a pole, and then he'll be asleep driving a ten-ton truck, then he'll be asleep on top of someone's rose garden, and then he'll be asleep on a shelf on a bookcase with an Oxford's dictionary crammed in his mouth, then he'll be asleep in a fish tank, etc.
Everyone, tell me what you would want to do on my show!
Perhaps I can have David Bowie on my show, too. And Freddie Highmoore, because that kid is very British. And we can have the "Dakota Fanning Punting Time" where people see how far they can kick Dakota Fanning. And Dan Radcliffe can be our janitor! HAHAHAHA!
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Schmergo
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Post by Schmergo on Mar 3, 2007 9:38:49 GMT -5
Okay, that was really weird.
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Kloud
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Post by Kloud on Mar 3, 2007 15:42:32 GMT -5
Dude, I would watch that show every night, and then get a huge tattoo on my foot that said, "Watch this show, or Santa will be mad at j00. "
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Schmergo
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Post by Schmergo on Mar 3, 2007 18:31:23 GMT -5
I think I was half asleep when I made that post. It is the oddest thing I've ever read, and I don't know what was wrong with my mind! But yes, I think it would be quite entertaining.
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Kloud
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Post by Kloud on Mar 3, 2007 22:00:49 GMT -5
I found your idea amazing. Almost as amazing as the time at Aku's sleepover party a few years ago when you shouted something about Larry having to run up the stairs in your sleep. =D
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Schmergo
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Post by Schmergo on Mar 5, 2007 20:59:53 GMT -5
Har! That's not my only interesting sleep-talking quote. I have zillions of them. (*Gestures toward my signature*)
Weird things happen in my sleep. Most of you are fully aware of the odd dreams I tend to have, and sometimes I wake up in a totally different place than where I actually fell asleep. (For example, I once woke up on the bathroom floor, having gone to sleep in bed, naturally.)
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CaT24FaN
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Post by CaT24FaN on Mar 7, 2007 18:11:08 GMT -5
I could do a voice over for the unicorn when you talk about the story of nigel and the weird mustache guy... "Nigel NO! Don't do it!!"
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Schmergo
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Post by Schmergo on Mar 7, 2007 18:32:50 GMT -5
YES! That would be amazing! (And here, Nigel's wondering if he should grow a mustache like Mister Deathly...)
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Zaldax
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Post by Zaldax on Mar 8, 2007 21:14:41 GMT -5
I have an idea for a show I would do! But yours would definitly trump mine in comedy and wierdness (MAN that was bizzare!)
You could call it....
THE *Insert my Real name here, most of you all ready know it, so, yeah...* Variety Show
I'm invisioning something that's a croos between the Colbert Report, The Daily Show (Fake News AND political Anylisis! Genius!) and a talk-show, but more PG rated.
Okay, so i would ave a section i would call "The World in Breif" Where i would saterize news programs. Then, i would have various acts on the show, right. And if they were bad, i would do 1 of 3 things
1. Press a button under my desk that makes the stage open like a trapdoor so they'll fall through it 2. press said button and the s6tage is sping-loaded 3. After the act, have them sit down in the armchairs, and accidently spill coffee on them. When i hand them a paper towel to clean up, i press the button under the coffee cup. Get this: the chairs are ejector seats. ;D
I'm such a genius. *Rubs hands together evily, but kind of insanely wierd too. (You know the way)*
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Post by Kiren Brockett on Mar 8, 2007 21:25:08 GMT -5
My gosh... this is really very... wow... again, wow...
I would be on your show, and I would have people from the audience come up on stage, and I'd point out everything that was wrong with them. EVERYTHING. From bad grammar to scarily dyed blonde hair, to smelly socks. This would work with celebrities too.
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Post by Me *hearts* HP on Mar 8, 2007 21:42:39 GMT -5
funnily enough...that actually made sense...I would watch it...what is the world coming to?
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Schmergo
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Post by Schmergo on Mar 9, 2007 6:30:36 GMT -5
Zim, Zim... obviously, the best way to get rid of lousy people on your show is to... (*pushes a button*) unloose the tiger! Sorry, but have you ever seen the Monty Python episode about defending yourself against attackers armed with fresh fruit?
Aku, that is atrociously mean and yet rather funny. People think Simon Cowell is mean, but at least he doesn't do that!
Me *hearts* HP, I like your avatar. It never mentioned anything about pandas, platypuses, unicorns, or wildebeests though!
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salthegemini
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Post by salthegemini on Mar 9, 2007 15:44:05 GMT -5
I still find that 'worst case senario' page that Aku had in her lunch box very strange...and stupid...
the question was: What should you do if you accidently walk into a lion's cage and the lion gets released and the door is closed.
A: make your self larger looking. B: something or another. C: pick up a chair and hold it in front of you. D: something else.
The answer was C. Where are you supposed to find a chair in a lion cage? And why were none of the answers 'Open the door.'? On top of all that, wouldn't someone notice that there was a person in the lion cage...i mean those things are like concrete boxes...very stupid question...
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Schmergo
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Post by Schmergo on Mar 9, 2007 15:46:07 GMT -5
More importantly, wouldn't YOU notice if you'd just walked into a lion cage?
Hey, that can be a segment on my show! "Celebrity Lion Escapes!" We take celebrities I dislike, throw them to the lions, and watch them try to devise an escape plan!
Or not.
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salthegemini
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Post by salthegemini on Mar 9, 2007 16:02:12 GMT -5
WELL ACTUALLY THE QUESTION SAID THAT YOU HAD WALKED INTO THE CAGE ON PURPOSE...WHICH IS A VERY STUPID IDEA...IN GENERAL I DON'T THINK IT WAS A VERY REASONABLE QUESTION...THE ONLY WAY IT WOULD WORK IS IF IT WAS DONE BY A PERSON WITH THE IQ OF A DUSTMOP, LIKE RAND (FROM THE WHEEL OF TIME [VERY FUN SERIES {THOUGH ALL THE MEN IN IT ARE IDIOTS (NO OFFENSE JUST TELLIN' IT LIKE IT IS)}])
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Schmergo
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Post by Schmergo on Mar 9, 2007 16:04:47 GMT -5
You're also telling it like it is in real life, as well! (Sorry to be overly feminist, but that's me...)
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Post by Me *hearts* HP on Mar 9, 2007 16:19:29 GMT -5
Thank you for liking my avatar, I like it too!!!
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Zaldax
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Post by Zaldax on Mar 9, 2007 22:30:54 GMT -5
Yes i have seen the self-defense against fresh fruit skecth..it's one of my favorites!
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Schmergo
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Post by Schmergo on Mar 10, 2007 9:01:01 GMT -5
I love the way these boards tend to get wildly off-topic.
It started out talking about the weirdest idea for a show ever, and now it's about sleep-talking, my strange picture from English class (a scared little boy named Nigel, an evil man with a moustache named Mr. Deathly, an exploding toaster with poptarts flying out of the top, a unicorn, and a nuclear warhead), Monty Python, Heart's avatar, survival against lions, and ridiculous feminism.
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Ankh
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Post by Ankh on Feb 11, 2008 20:16:09 GMT -5
schmergo, were you hitting the pixie stix when you wrote that? OKAY, IDEA: Interviews With People Who Act Like Other People That Are Famous And Dead! *phew!* (we were originally going to call it interviews with famous dead people, but some people take things too literally. *shudders*) ASK RANDOM QUESTIONS!
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