frikanzee
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Post by frikanzee on Jun 19, 2007 17:39:23 GMT -5
a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... The Clone Wars are well under way; Supreme Chancellor Palpatine has gained absurd amounts of power in the senate, and some are begining to speak out. the highly influential senator of zeltron is one of these opposers, and refuses to be shown "reason." behind the scenes of the familiar story, the backup sith lord Darth Umbra works for her own ends. but in the desperate race to the war's climax, no plan, no matter how carefully laid, will unravel properly...
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Post by Kiren Brockett on Jun 19, 2007 17:55:31 GMT -5
*is the world's most nitpicky beta/co-author*
Oooookay. It works, except...
- Palpatine's a bit too subtle to bribe or threaten somebody. It could just say "refuses to be reasoned with" because that's how the galaxy would see it. They, for the most part, still think of Palpatine as honest and perfect. *evil smirk*
- Hasn't Palpatine already gained loads of power... I think the Senate has known for a while; they're just okay with it, apparently. I don't know...
- The scrolling things usually just set the scene. They don't tell what's going to happen, except vaguely. So, since we actually show the deciding to destroy Anakin thing, we might not want to put that in there. You could say something about how Palpatine is busy working on bringing Anakin to the dark side, so he assigns getting rid of the senator to Umbra. That's about where we start off.
- Nice last line. XD
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Post by kanegunlock on Jun 19, 2007 18:13:18 GMT -5
you forgot along time ago in a galexy far far away (I can tell this fan fic is not going to be vary good ) faw faw faw faw faw faw I'm a critic
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frikanzee
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Post by frikanzee on Jun 19, 2007 18:30:22 GMT -5
thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks, kane... if you must know, i wrote that in all of three minutes.
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Post by kanegunlock on Jun 19, 2007 18:43:41 GMT -5
your not being sacastic are you
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frikanzee
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Post by frikanzee on Jun 19, 2007 19:40:53 GMT -5
noooooooooooooooooooo, ya think?
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frikanzee
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More Important Than a Bran Muffin
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Post by frikanzee on Jun 19, 2007 22:17:01 GMT -5
HAPPY NOW?!
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Post by Kiren Brockett on Jun 20, 2007 15:59:11 GMT -5
Very nice.
*slaps Kane* Of course, it's going to be good, you lumpish, lily-livered whey-face!
Yeah. I wrote a bit of Kane's crew nonsense, but it's not great.
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frikanzee
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More Important Than a Bran Muffin
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Post by frikanzee on Jun 20, 2007 16:13:34 GMT -5
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Post by Kiren Brockett on Jun 20, 2007 17:29:38 GMT -5
'Kay. I'll type up my stinkin' Umbra bit.... aaaand my Jedi council bit.... aaaand my Saesee Tiin bit.... aaand my Kane bit.... aaaaand my Kane's crew bit....
I think you need to do some writing, Frik. XD
You can write the scene where we first see you and Twi. Being contacted by Vam up until the actual kidnapping.
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vampirate321
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Aku is the First Vampirate
XD *stare, stare, drool, drool* so says Vammool Vamilla Vamerine Vamilstein van Vamheusen, PhD
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Post by vampirate321 on Jun 20, 2007 17:59:24 GMT -5
write faster!! i want to see the awesomeness that is Vammol!!
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vampirate321
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Aku is the First Vampirate
XD *stare, stare, drool, drool* so says Vammool Vamilla Vamerine Vamilstein van Vamheusen, PhD
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Post by vampirate321 on Jun 20, 2007 18:00:31 GMT -5
demonchild:
what about my part?!
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frikanzee
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More Important Than a Bran Muffin
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Post by frikanzee on Jun 20, 2007 18:32:03 GMT -5
deamon, i hate to tell u this, buuuuuuuuuuut...the reason zim's senator character is eliminated is so that u, the more pliant pawn of teh sith, can take his place in a rigged election. sorry.
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Post by Lazy Aku on Jun 20, 2007 19:07:04 GMT -5
Actually, it isn't rigged. It's just that Demon's the most popular politician on Zeltron besides Xim, and he happens to agree with Palpatine.
At least you live, Demon.
I have to be interviewed for exchange student stuff, but I'll write/type more as soon as possible.
On another note, apparently Kane's life is "a spiraling Votex of lonltness". *blinks*
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frikanzee
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More Important Than a Bran Muffin
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Post by frikanzee on Jun 20, 2007 19:11:15 GMT -5
spiraling vortex? next thing we know, he'll be dying his hair black and cutting. DON'T TURN EMO, KANE! WE DON'T WANT A DEPRESSANT! and i thought it was rigged...whatever.
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Post by theaceofspades on Jun 20, 2007 19:24:11 GMT -5
I really need to do something or I I'm gone have a Pychobilly Freckout
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frikanzee
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More Important Than a Bran Muffin
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Post by frikanzee on Jun 21, 2007 8:17:48 GMT -5
pychobilly freakout? never hear that one before...
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Post by theaceofspades on Jun 21, 2007 9:58:39 GMT -5
It's a song
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frikanzee
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More Important Than a Bran Muffin
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Post by frikanzee on Jun 21, 2007 10:18:51 GMT -5
sounds like someting out of the sixties...
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frikanzee
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More Important Than a Bran Muffin
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Post by frikanzee on Jun 21, 2007 15:52:10 GMT -5
and aku...any day. any. day.
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