Post by Schmergo on May 20, 2007 13:04:13 GMT -5
You don't need to have seen Spamalot or Monty Python and the Holy Grail to vote. Here are descriptions of the various characters.
*LANCELOT: Known as "The Homicidally Brave Sir Lancelot," best-known perhaps for massacring the wedding party at Swamp Castle and (in Spamalot) later marrying the effeminate Prince Herbert in the wedding finale. He constantly tries to dispose of Not Dead Fred by whacking him upside the head with a shovel, and later kills Herbert's father the same way. There is a snappy song about him entitled "His Name Is Lancelot," in which it is revealed that he wears tight pants a lot and likes to dance a lot. Lancelot happily survives the Bridge of Death by correctly answering the final question (what is your favourite colour?)
*GALAHAD: Known as "The Dashingly Handsome Sir Galahad," he is a poor socialist peasant named Dennis Galahad who is thirty-seven and lives with his mother until Arthur and the Lady of the Lake recruit him to become a knight and give him a makeover. He enjoys flipping his long blond hair and showing off his sparklingly white teeth. Galahad stumbles upon the Castle Anthrax, which is occupied by numerous beautiful young girls, but before he can ge to know them better, he is rescued by Sir Lancelot, who warns him of 'great peril'. Galahad's a bit upside because he kind of wanted a little, er, 'peril.' Galahad dies on the Bridge of Death because he cannot accurately name his favourite colour (he's not sure if it's blue or yellow.)
*BEDEVERE: Known as the "Strangely Flatulent Sir Bedevere," Bedevere is wise but has very little common sense. He also has a silly-looking helmet with a visor. He's in charge of the council that determines whether or not people should be burnt as witches (if she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood and therefore a witch) before being recruited by Arthur. Bedevere comes up with the brilliant plan to build a Trojan Rabbit to invade the French castle, but unfortunately, he forgets to get inside it, so it is useless. He and Arthur survive the dreaded Knights Who Say Ni and Bridge of Death, but Bedevere's slight Welsh accent causes him to mispronounce simple words like 'Ni' and "Aaaaaargh' as "Nuu" and "Oooooogh."
*SIR ROBIN: Known as "Sir Robin, The Not Quite As Brave As Sir Lancelot," he slew the vicious chicken of Bristol and personally wet himself at the Battle of Baden Hill. His shield also bears the image of a chicken. Robin enlists as a knight because he's unaware that there's more to it than 'dressing up and dancing,' which is his true interest. In the Dark And Very Expensive Forest, Robin encounters the prissy three-headed knight, backed by his trusty minstrels, and decides to deal with the knight by 'bravely running away,' as his minstrels sing proudly. Robin, who has an unfortunate habit of accidentally losing control of his bladder and bowels when frightened (which is most of the time) eventually decides that his true calling is musical theatre, because 'you can sing, you can dance, and you won't soil your pants.' Unfortunately, he dies in the Bridge of Death because he doesn't know the capital of Assyria (Ashur, sometimes spelled Assur.)
*Patsy: Patsy's Arthur's trusty little assistant, who makes 'horse' noises by banging two coconuts together, as well as carrying all of Arthur's heavy gear. He's very loyal, despite the fact that Arthur treats him like he doesn't even exist, and he has a slightly cynical worldview (he's unimpressed by Camelot because he knows 'it's only a model.') However, he is the one who generally serves as Arthur's cheerleader and provider of morale, serenading him with a happy song called "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" when he's down in the dumps. Patsy helps Arthur embark on a quest to find Jewish people for their musical(because you can't succeed on Broadway without them, apparently) but later reveals that he is, in fact, Jewish but thought it wasn't a good thing to say in front of a bunch of 'heavily armed Christians.'
*The Lady of the Lake: Also known as Guinevere, she presents Arthur with his sword and generally serves as a morale-raiser for the show, often showing up when she's not needed. Very glamorous and very much the diva, she gets upset when she hasn't had a musical number in awhile. She gives Galahad his makeover, serenades the knights in Camelot (badly), reveals to Arthur that he's onstage in a Broadway musical, and eventually marries him.
*The Knights Who Say NI!: Large and ominous horned beings, they have silly, high-pitched voices and terrify people by injuring them with the word 'ni!' Their weakness, though, is the word 'it,' which affects them the way the word 'ni' affects everyone else. They like shrubbery, especially with a nice two-level effect and a little path going through it. But their instruction to chop down the largest tree in the forest with a herring is not granted.
*Sir Not-Appearing-In-This Film: He's not in the film, but is briefly shown to be a large knight with a baby's head in the film version, or, in the stage version, he's Don Quixote in pouffy pants.
*LANCELOT: Known as "The Homicidally Brave Sir Lancelot," best-known perhaps for massacring the wedding party at Swamp Castle and (in Spamalot) later marrying the effeminate Prince Herbert in the wedding finale. He constantly tries to dispose of Not Dead Fred by whacking him upside the head with a shovel, and later kills Herbert's father the same way. There is a snappy song about him entitled "His Name Is Lancelot," in which it is revealed that he wears tight pants a lot and likes to dance a lot. Lancelot happily survives the Bridge of Death by correctly answering the final question (what is your favourite colour?)
*GALAHAD: Known as "The Dashingly Handsome Sir Galahad," he is a poor socialist peasant named Dennis Galahad who is thirty-seven and lives with his mother until Arthur and the Lady of the Lake recruit him to become a knight and give him a makeover. He enjoys flipping his long blond hair and showing off his sparklingly white teeth. Galahad stumbles upon the Castle Anthrax, which is occupied by numerous beautiful young girls, but before he can ge to know them better, he is rescued by Sir Lancelot, who warns him of 'great peril'. Galahad's a bit upside because he kind of wanted a little, er, 'peril.' Galahad dies on the Bridge of Death because he cannot accurately name his favourite colour (he's not sure if it's blue or yellow.)
*BEDEVERE: Known as the "Strangely Flatulent Sir Bedevere," Bedevere is wise but has very little common sense. He also has a silly-looking helmet with a visor. He's in charge of the council that determines whether or not people should be burnt as witches (if she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood and therefore a witch) before being recruited by Arthur. Bedevere comes up with the brilliant plan to build a Trojan Rabbit to invade the French castle, but unfortunately, he forgets to get inside it, so it is useless. He and Arthur survive the dreaded Knights Who Say Ni and Bridge of Death, but Bedevere's slight Welsh accent causes him to mispronounce simple words like 'Ni' and "Aaaaaargh' as "Nuu" and "Oooooogh."
*SIR ROBIN: Known as "Sir Robin, The Not Quite As Brave As Sir Lancelot," he slew the vicious chicken of Bristol and personally wet himself at the Battle of Baden Hill. His shield also bears the image of a chicken. Robin enlists as a knight because he's unaware that there's more to it than 'dressing up and dancing,' which is his true interest. In the Dark And Very Expensive Forest, Robin encounters the prissy three-headed knight, backed by his trusty minstrels, and decides to deal with the knight by 'bravely running away,' as his minstrels sing proudly. Robin, who has an unfortunate habit of accidentally losing control of his bladder and bowels when frightened (which is most of the time) eventually decides that his true calling is musical theatre, because 'you can sing, you can dance, and you won't soil your pants.' Unfortunately, he dies in the Bridge of Death because he doesn't know the capital of Assyria (Ashur, sometimes spelled Assur.)
*Patsy: Patsy's Arthur's trusty little assistant, who makes 'horse' noises by banging two coconuts together, as well as carrying all of Arthur's heavy gear. He's very loyal, despite the fact that Arthur treats him like he doesn't even exist, and he has a slightly cynical worldview (he's unimpressed by Camelot because he knows 'it's only a model.') However, he is the one who generally serves as Arthur's cheerleader and provider of morale, serenading him with a happy song called "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" when he's down in the dumps. Patsy helps Arthur embark on a quest to find Jewish people for their musical(because you can't succeed on Broadway without them, apparently) but later reveals that he is, in fact, Jewish but thought it wasn't a good thing to say in front of a bunch of 'heavily armed Christians.'
*The Lady of the Lake: Also known as Guinevere, she presents Arthur with his sword and generally serves as a morale-raiser for the show, often showing up when she's not needed. Very glamorous and very much the diva, she gets upset when she hasn't had a musical number in awhile. She gives Galahad his makeover, serenades the knights in Camelot (badly), reveals to Arthur that he's onstage in a Broadway musical, and eventually marries him.
*The Knights Who Say NI!: Large and ominous horned beings, they have silly, high-pitched voices and terrify people by injuring them with the word 'ni!' Their weakness, though, is the word 'it,' which affects them the way the word 'ni' affects everyone else. They like shrubbery, especially with a nice two-level effect and a little path going through it. But their instruction to chop down the largest tree in the forest with a herring is not granted.
*Sir Not-Appearing-In-This Film: He's not in the film, but is briefly shown to be a large knight with a baby's head in the film version, or, in the stage version, he's Don Quixote in pouffy pants.