slowlearner
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Ahhh. They're taking over the world, again.
Posts: 29
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Post by slowlearner on May 30, 2006 16:11:35 GMT -5
weird things you think of and weirld lists
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slowlearner
Trusted Guys
Ahhh. They're taking over the world, again.
Posts: 29
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Post by slowlearner on May 30, 2006 16:12:22 GMT -5
50 Things To Do in an Elevator 1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers. 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" 4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. 5. Sell Girl Scout cookies. 6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. 7. Shave. 8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" 9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator Wear yours upside-down. 10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!" 13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 14. One word: Flatulence!. 15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. 16. Do Tai Chi exercises. 17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, curses motion sickness!" 19. Give religious tracts to each passenger. 20. Meow occasionally. 21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. 22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!" 23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. 24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons. 25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 28. Burp, and then say "mmmm. 29. Leave a box between the doors. 30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. 31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. 32. Start a sing-along. 33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?" 34. Play the harmonica. 35. Shadow box. 36. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 37. Lean against the button panel. 38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space. 41. Bring a chair along. 42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?" 43. Blow spit bubbles. 44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. 45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body. 46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. 47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers. 49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger. 50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
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Post by artemisfowl on May 30, 2006 16:30:53 GMT -5
so who on this site has done all of these things before?
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Post by Broker of Darkness on May 31, 2006 6:16:16 GMT -5
I've done like one or two....
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slowlearner
Trusted Guys
Ahhh. They're taking over the world, again.
Posts: 29
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Post by slowlearner on Oct 16, 2006 15:32:36 GMT -5
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE CRAZY
Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the oppositive gender.)(also very scary)
Put decafe in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Send E-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Insist that your E-mail address is: Zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com
Everytime someone asks you to do something , ask if they want fries with that.
Suggest that the Coke machine be filled with beer.
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many".
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and snorkel. If no one notices, ditch the snorkel and see how many fish you can catch in your mouth.
Send E-mail messages that advertizse free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say "You've got to be faster than that."
When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your windshield wipers runing during all weather conditions to keep'em tuned up.
Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc: them to your boss.
Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy".
Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
Don't use any punctuation.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what sex they are.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Stomp on plastic ketchup packets.
TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
type only in lowercase.
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
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slowlearner
Trusted Guys
Ahhh. They're taking over the world, again.
Posts: 29
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Post by slowlearner on Oct 16, 2006 15:35:20 GMT -5
101+ WAYS TO BE ANNOYING
As an expert on the art of annoying and irritating others, I have endeavored to compile a list of methods I have developed, used,or read about, with which to annoy people. Some are very simple, some take preparation, some are very old, some are new. At least 1/4 of them are guaranteed to annoy your victim. Have fun!
1. Put your face really close to theirs while they're facing a different direction, tap them on the shoulder, and watch them jump when they turn to face you. 2. Copy their actions and everything they say. 3. Step on the backs of their heels while they're walking. 4. Yell across a crowded room to them: "Hey, John, the results came back from the V.D. clinic: we're clean!" 5. In a communal shower or shower house, turn the hot water all the way up and the cold water all the way down (or vice versa) while they're rinsing the shampoo out of their hair and can't see anything. Or, when you're finished showering, go outside and turn the main valve off. 6. Pretend you don't understand what they're saying, no matter how much they yell and how slowly they say it. 7. When somebody asks, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" reply, "No, all of them." 8. When somebody asks, "Do you have the time?" reply, "Yeah." 9. If you have a dot matrix printer, leave the little computer paper tracks on the paper when turning in a report or essay. 10. Ask an artist, "It's not finished yet, is it?" 11. On a summer day, ask anybody, "Hot enuff for ya?"(NOTE: Proper response to this question is to hit offender in the face and ask, "Hurt enough for you?") 12. Sign someone up on a junk mail list. 13. Go into a frozen yogurt joint where they have lots of toppings. Order a cup, and say to the guy, in the most annoying tone imaginable, "Do you have M&M's? Yeah? Good. How 'bout raisins? Yeah, and sprinkles. Do you have cookie crumbs?" After he has proceeded to put them on the yogurt, exclaim, "I hate cookie crumbs. They make me sick. I can't even smell them, that's hoW much I hate them. Aagh, yuck!" Watch the salesperson fume as he is forced to throw away the entire cup. 14. Walk into a store that has a sign that says, "Have a penny? Give a penny! Need a penny? Take a penny!" with a HUGE jar of pennies. Take a penny out of the cup, put it into your jar, and walk out. 15. Pull up alongside somebody while driving on the freeway, and gesture violently, indicating that they should pull over immediately. When they pull over, just continue driving. 16. Take a pencil, stick a piece of chewed gum onto it, and stick it to the ground. Then wait for some cheap-o to come along and try to pick it up. 17. Play 'thingy.' 18. While standing next to someone, unobtrusively reach your arm around their back, and tap them on the opposite shoulder. 19. Tell someone, "Okay, here's what you do: bite down on both your pinky nails really hard for about thirty seconds, and then when I tell you that time is up, link your pinkies and pull really hard." If they ask, "Why?" tell them that it feels really neat. If done correctly, this trick should cause excruciating pain. 20. Engage someone in a conversation, and have a friend sneak up behind them, and get down on his hands and knees. Then, all of a sudden, violently push the person to whom you are talking, and laugh with sadistic glee as they tumble backwards over the person kneeling behind them. 21. Tell someone, "Man, your hands smell bad!" When they try to smell their hand, smack it so it hits their face. This one can also be performed with a piece of pie. When they lean down to smell the pie, grab the back of their head and smoosh it into the pie. 22. After somebody finishes telling a joke, say in a very grave tone, "My brother (sister/mother/father) died that way." 23. Walk up behind somebody wearing a button down shirt or a short sleeved collar shirt, insert your finger into the little strip of fabric sewn across the top just below the collar, yell "FAG TAG!" at the top of your lungs, and rip it off. 24. Give somebody a grundy. 25. Pinch a guy's nipple. You may also pinch a girl's nipple if you please, but this falls under '101 Ways to Sexually Harass People.'
26. Leave the following message on someone's answering machine: "Sir, we're not sure if you wanted us to do it, you know, after what happened, so, well, we went ahead and did it anyway. If you don't like it, we can probably take it out, but we'll have to charge you extra. Please return this call immediately. Thanks." 27. Tell somebody that's wearing velcro shoes or slip-ons that their shoelaces are untied. 28. Tell lots of puns. 29. Be a Jew for Jesus. 30. Give somebody a Wet Willy. 31. Turn on somebody's radio up all the way and turn their windshield wipers on while the car is off. 32. Take a stick of gum out of it's paper and foil wrapper, then carefully re-fold the foil wrapper and stick it back into the paper wrapper. Offer this to someone as a stick of gum. 33. Pay for a tube of toothpaste with a check at the supermarket. 34. On the bus, try to engage somebody in a conversation about genital warts. 35. Delete somebody's AUTOEXEC.BAT and CONFIG.SYS files. 36. When walking behind someone outside, pull up a long piece of grass, and gently tickle them behind the ear with it. The first time, they'll try to brush it away. The second time they'll swat at it, and smack themselves. Generally, the third time they turn around and look behind themselves. 37. Take a wire, and stick it all the way through a cigar or cigarette. Let the ash get really long, and pretend you don't notice everybody staring at it, waiting for it to fall. 38. When they're about half way through with it, remove one piece from the box of a jigsaw puzzle, and throw it away. 39. Hide the remote control. 40. Call a house at random, and ask for Gary. When they tell you that there's no Gary there, call again a little while later. Do this at intervals about four times. Finally, when they're fuming and about to scream bloody murder, call a fifth time, and say, "Hi, this is Gary. Are there any messages for me?" 41. Take a deck of cards, and say, "Okay, I'm gonna do a magic trick." Ask the person to pick any card, and put it anywhere in the deck. After they have shuffled the deck thoroughly, take the deck back. Ask, "What was your card?" When they tell you, say, "Not only has your card magically come to the top of the deck, but it has also magically turned into..." Pick up the top card, look at it, and name it. 42. When somebody is talking very excitedly at a restaurant, pick up their plate, hand it to them, and nod gravely. Wait for them to notice and wonder why they are holding their plate. 43. Exclaim in a crowded theater, "No, I won't touch you there for a dollar! No, not two dollars, either!" 44. Approach somebody quietly from behind, grab them, and scream, "Booga booga!" or any other such exclamation loudly. This works extremely well on high strung people. 45. Be chronically late. Not really late, but always be about five or seven minutes late. This really gets anal retentive people. I know. 46. Shave with someone elses razor. For some reason, a lot of people are really touchy about that. Once again, I know. 47. Once again at a restaurant, one with a candle in the middle of the table, while someone is up before the food has come, take their plate, hold the bottom rim over the candle, and rotate it so you get a lot of soot on the bottom of the plate. When they come back, say, "I'm going to hypnotize you. Pick up your plate in your left hand, and with your right hand, copy all my actions." Proceed to rub your index finger around the bottom rim of your plate, and in a circle on your forehead. Then around the rim, and each of your eyes. Keep going, with different parts of the face, until they notice. 48. Cut out an article or section of the newspaper before someone else has had a chance to read it. 49. Send a letter with twenty-nine one cent stamps. 50. Go into a locker room with a pocket knife, and cut off all the shoelaces that are hanging out of the lockers.
51. When someone asks, "Are there any questions?" ask, "Where do babies come from?" This is one of my favorites. 52. Step on someone's feet, and push them backwards. 53. Take their hat. 54. Grab a book that someone is reading, open it to the last page, and read this out loud. 55. When riding shotgun in a convertible, surreptitiously reach over and put up just the rear windows. In a convertible, this looks REALLY stupid. 56. Take an envelope, fill it with baking powder or flour,and send it to somebody. 57. At a fast food restaurant, push down the bubbles on the drink tops of everybody's drink. 58. Crack all your knuckles. A lot of people can't stand fingers, and I know some people who have almost fainted upon the cracking of the neck. 59. Sing, "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves..." over and over again to the tune of the first two lines of The Battle Hymn of the Republic. 60. Pay for an item at a store with all pennies. 61. When you're out of the house all night for a weekend, leave your clock-radio on for it's normal wake-up time of about 6:30 or 7:30, and turn the volume up. 62. At a red light, put your car in gear and creep slowly forward, while gesturing to the person in the car next to you that they must be rolling backwards. 63. Drive with your brights on just to see how many people flash their lights at you. 64. Tailgating can be one of the most effective forms of annoyance know to man. 65. Walk up to someone you know, and say something to the effect of, "Hey, did you hear what happened to Jim? Well he was with...oh, man, I really shouldn't tell you this. No, I promised I wouldn't tell. No, I can't tell you, sorry." 66. When they are out of their room, move everything they own to a different location. 67. Change all the preset stations on their car radio tuner to classical and country/western stations. 68. Slurp your soup or your breakfast cereal. 69. Tap the person on the shoulder continuously, and when you have their attention, just continue tapping them on the shoulder. 70. At a movie theater, unwrap a candy bar as loudly as is humanly possible, preferably during dialogue. 71. At a public library, get a book which hasn't been checked out yet, and slip it into somebody's book bag when they're not looking. 72. Take off the letters one of those sign boards that have the removable letters. Spell rude things with them. 73. Answer the phone "Domino's Pizza, how can I help you?" at someone else's house. Or at your own house, if you really want. 74. At night, rearrange somebody's furniture. At the very least, they'll be surprised when they get up in the morning. But, better yet, call them in the middle of the night, so they have to get up, and stumble over a chair that wasn't there before. 75. Many telephone answering machines have two digit passwords for retrieving messages and that kind of thing, and often times, the default on many models is 25, which people don't bother to change. This is an excellent way to hack answering machines, or, if this doesn't work, it's not that hard to try all 100 combinations. Regardless, once you've hacked the machine, a fun thing to do is to change the message. This is supremely annoying.
76. Call a credit card company and report somebody's card as missing. Next time they try to use it, they'll have it confiscated and cut into little bitty pieces. 77. Take all the labels off of their video tapes. 78. There are a myriad of non-harmful but incredibly annoying computer viruses, such as Red-X, Cascade, Heeva Havah, Whale, and more. Their effects vary, and they can be a pain in the butt to remove from one's hard drive. 79. An old but still great and incredibly useful annoyance technique is the age old, tried and true 'Kick Me' sign on the back. A classic. 80. Write taunting messages at random places in an assignment notebook or executive planner. 81. Another classic is to get about three other people in on a joke that has no meaning at all, and tell it with those three people and the victim in the room. All the people 'in' on the joke laugh, and the victim doesn't get it. When he asks, say, "Oh, never mind. If you don't get it, it's not worth explaining. My favorite is, "A hippo and a penguin are taking a bath together. The hippo says, 'Pass the soap,' and the penguin says, 'No soap. Radio!'" 82. Yet another age old family of annoying jokes are as follows: "Would you happen to have a henway on you?" "A henway? What's a henway?" "About three pounds." 83. Talk to the characters in a television show, like yelling out loud, "Don't go in there! The bad guys are in there!" 84. When you take a shower, leave the shower/bath valve on shower. 85. Women hate it when men leave the toilet seat up. 86. During an exam, tap your foot on the floor continuously. This works very well on linoleum, especially if you can find a part of the floor where the linoleum is coming loose, and it makes a very loud sound. 87. Be a street mime. 88. Remove the doorstop from hallway doors. Or better yet, if you have the time and the motivation, take out the screw that holds the two 'arms' of the spring closer together. 89. Write poetry for a school newspaper or publication. 90. For women: ask your friends, "Do I look fat to you?" 91. Put a lubricated condom on somebody's door knob. 92. Go out behind somebody's house at night, and find the box marked "Illinois Bell Customer Service," or whatever state you live in. Open this up using a flat head screwdriver, and attach a wire across the green and red wires. This will leave the phone off hook, and once the too-long-off-hook signal starts going, the person will be forced to go to another's house to use the phone to call Ma Bell so they can figure out is going on. 93. Put a dead fish in somebody's trunk. Works best during the summer. 94. Take a chalkboard eraser and insert a piece of chalk into, so that when somebody goes to erase the board, they leave a chalk mark. 95. At a restaurant, have the victim place both his hands on the table palms down. Balance a glass of water on the back of each hand. The person is now trapped, unable to remove either glass without help. (Actually, there is a solution: place your chin against one glass, and using that to hold it steady, remove the other glass.) 96. A similar 'trap' is to have a person stick their forefinger and thumb through the space on the hinged side of an open door, just above the top hinge. Put an egg between their fingers and ask them to hold it. Then, take their hat and put it on the floor underneath the egg. 97. Take a paper or styrofoam cup, and punch a small hole in it near the base. Grasp the cup, with your thumb over the hole, and fill it with water. Now, casually walk up to someone, and ask them to hold the cup. 98. Take a bungee cord like the kind used to tie a car hood down, and while someone is sitting in a chair in front of you, carefully and quietly hook one end to their belt loop, and the other to the chair leg or underside. If they are sitting on a plastic chair, the chair will spring up when they stand up, and fall over, making a loud clatter. Better yet, though, if they're sitting near a wall fixture, just attach them to that. 99. Shake up somebody's can of soda before they drink it. 100. Loosen the tops on the salt and pepper shakers at a restaurant. 101. Take a cheap ball point pen, and bend it sharply to break open the ink well, or open the pen up and cut the ink well open. Lend this pen to somebody.
Drum on every available surface. Remove every line of someone's .newsrc file except the entry for alt.sex.fetish.hamster.duct-tape. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. Staple papers in the middle of the page. Ask 800 operators for dates. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". Set alarms for random times. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..." Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. Honk and wave to strangers. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies. Wear your pants backwards. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!" Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music". Leave someones printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. only type in lowercase. dont use any punctuation either Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. Pay for your dinner with pennies. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assasination/UFO/ OJ Simpson conspiracy theories. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." Light road flares on a birthday cake. Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. Leave tips in Bolivian currency. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador". Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One". As much as possible, skip rather than walk. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat. Drive half a block. Name your dog "Dog". Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. Ask people what gender they are. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot". Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes". Sculpt your hedges into anatomically suggestive shapes. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr Rogers theme song. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. Wear a LOT of cologne. Ask to "interface" with someone. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing". Sing along at the opera. Mow your lawn with scissors. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!" Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy". Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend". Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles". Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket." Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture". Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. Never make eye contact. Never break eye contact. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. Make appointments for the 31st of September. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
i dont use any of these because im really annoying to begin with. and if you read all these and have done most of them you need help.
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wickedgrl75
Trusted Girls
so if you care to find me, look to the western sky!
Posts: 101
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Post by wickedgrl75 on Oct 16, 2006 20:05:42 GMT -5
U must have alot of time on ur hands, Slowlearner and love to make RRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYY LLLLLLLOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG PPPPPPPPOOOOOOOSSSSSSSTTTTTTT........
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Schmergo
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Voice of Truth and Insanity
REAL men wear frou-frou!
Posts: 2,558
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Post by Schmergo on Oct 17, 2006 13:51:10 GMT -5
He didn't make up all of the lists.
They're really funny, though!
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slowlearner
Trusted Guys
Ahhh. They're taking over the world, again.
Posts: 29
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Post by slowlearner on Oct 17, 2006 15:44:45 GMT -5
Shhhhhh. Dont tell.....jk
but i have done most of them
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wickedgrl75
Trusted Girls
so if you care to find me, look to the western sky!
Posts: 101
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Post by wickedgrl75 on Oct 29, 2006 17:12:11 GMT -5
oh 'vvvveeeaaallllyyyy..... but seriously really?
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wickedgrl75
Trusted Girls
so if you care to find me, look to the western sky!
Posts: 101
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Post by wickedgrl75 on Oct 29, 2006 17:14:23 GMT -5
COME! and join us because 've 'vant to take ovar ze 'vorld!!!! mwamwahhhaaahhaaaahhhaaaaaaa....... i am so ramdom, deal with it:)
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slowlearner
Trusted Guys
Ahhh. They're taking over the world, again.
Posts: 29
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Post by slowlearner on Feb 12, 2007 21:00:17 GMT -5
wow i just saw this....kinda creepy
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Schmergo
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Voice of Truth and Insanity
REAL men wear frou-frou!
Posts: 2,558
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Post by Schmergo on Feb 13, 2007 6:23:48 GMT -5
Pooooosssssttttsss lllliiiiikkkkee tttthhhhiiiiissss aaaarrrreee rrrreeeeeaaaalllyyy hhhhaaaarrrrddd ttooo rrreeeeeaaadddd.
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salthegemini
Trusted Girls
I'm a Purple Weredragon Bookworm Thing!
Posts: 516
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Post by salthegemini on Feb 13, 2007 12:52:48 GMT -5
actually no...I mean if you can make it through that email about how letter order doesn't effect the understanding and readability of the word you can read that...
Readability is a very strange word...so is lead, led, and lead...well that's a group of three words but I don't get why lead (as in pencil lead) is spelled the same way as lead (as in I lead the group) instead of led (as in she led the group) very strange...
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Post by Kiren Brockett on Feb 14, 2007 14:53:29 GMT -5
That e-mail is easy to read. PPppoooooossssstttttsssssss lllliiikeee ttttthhhhiiiissss aren't.
English is a strange language. Consider "colonel" and "kernel" for a moment.
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salthegemini
Trusted Girls
I'm a Purple Weredragon Bookworm Thing!
Posts: 516
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Post by salthegemini on Feb 18, 2007 12:19:31 GMT -5
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go." 2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub." 4.Name your dog "Dog." 5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." 6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think." 7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. 9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." 12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date. 13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks. 14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon. 16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies. 18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 20. Repeat everything someone says as a question. 21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps. 22. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories. 23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now." 24. Light road flares on a birthday cake. 25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 26. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read. 28. Ask people what gender they are. 29. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray. 30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet. 31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 32. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. 33. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a." 34. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 35. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 36. Wear a lot of cologne. 37. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." 38. Sing along at the opera. 39. Mow your lawn with scissors. 40. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!" 41. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 43. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." 44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 45. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 46. Make appointments for the 31st of September. 47. Invite lots of people to other people's parties. 48. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. 49. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 50. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 51. Practice making fax and modem noises. 52. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss. 53. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy." 54. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 55. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. 56. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 57. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 58. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 59. Honk and wave to strangers. 60. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE. 61. type only in lowercase. 62. dont use any punctuation either 63. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 64. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 65. Sing the theme to the Batman television show as loudly as you can, over and over and over.. 66. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone. 67. Drum on every available surface. 68. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 69. Set alarms for random times. 70. Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.." 71. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off. 72. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted. 73. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange. 74. Wear your pants backwards. 75. Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!" 76. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music." 77. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode. 78. Pay for your dinner with pennies. 79. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 80. Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 81. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador." 82. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 83. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. 84. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One." 85. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song. 86. Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along. 87. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 88. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk into it. 89. Drive half a block. 90. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 91. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl. 92. "Forget" the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 93. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes." 94. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 95. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 96. Ask to "interface" with someone. 97. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket." 98. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture." 99. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims. 100. Never make eye contact. 100. Never break eye contact. 100. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results. 100. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice. 100. Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice. 100. Say "okay, you're gay" to anything someone says. 100. As people talk, smell their shoulders. 100. When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention." 100. Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?" 100. Place your shoes on the table. 100. When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their right. 100. When standing near a "high-class person," ask them, "Excuse me, but do I have a booger hanging on my nose? I thought I picked it off." 100. Switch your neighbor's lawn furniture with someone else's. 10. Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today. 115. Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips. 116. Sample every flavor of ice cream and tell the clerk what you don't like about each one. 117. Pick your ear wax and ask if you could use their sleeve to wipe it off. 118. Insist completely ridiculous things are true - like Bush is still President. 119. Speak in a strong Welsh accent. 120. Wear odd shoes. 121. Learn "Ice Ice Baby" by heart and recite it endlessly. 122. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says. 123. Throw stones at people walking past your house. 124. Keep changing the TV channel every two seconds. 125. Insist that Celine Dion is better than the Beatles. 126. Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told an extremely funny joke. 127. Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening. 128. Spend an entire weekend pretending you are R2-D2. 129. Phone random numbers and tell them you are holding their daughter hostage. 130. Recite the first 4,000 decimal places of Pi. Then ask if people want to hear it in binary, too. 131. Pretend you have gone completely deaf. 133. Walk into people's houses, go straight to the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food. 134. Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it. 135. Loudly recite people's most embarrassing secrets in restaurants. 136. Play the electric guitar very loudly and badly, then when the neighbors ask you to turn it down, play even louder. When they come round to complain again, say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you asked me to turn it up! 137. Try to fit the word "cornucopia" into every sentence you say. 138. Drive on the wrong side of the road. 139. Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend's house who has a piano. Claim you've never played before then play Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring perfectly the first time. Then say, "I guess I must kinda be a natural." 140. Go canoeing and sing the Hawaii Five-0 theme. 141. Claim that until recently, you thought Michael Jackson was a woman. 142. Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot. 143. Go to a Metallica concert wearing a Michael Bolton T-Shirt. 144. Tell everyone you are Bill Clinton's cousin. 145. Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away. 146. Dedicate your life to politics, become president of the United States, then raise all taxes to 90%. 147. Down a can of Coke in one drink and then burp loudly. 148. Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R. 149. Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the." 150. Wire up people's cars so the horn comes on as soon as their car is started. 151. Ride a unicycle to work. 152. E-mail Microsoft to tell them about bugs in Windows XP that aren't actually there. 153. Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat. 154. Continuously mumble during a conversation. 155. Take off the eraser to every pencil in your house, or better yet, someone else's house. 156. When in a chat room, spell everything incorrectly. 157. Insist on "Weird Al" sing-a-longs. 158. On a hot summer day, ride up and down the road and drench pedestrians with squirt guns. 159. When walking down a main road, act like a drunk. 160. Wear nothing but white and go mud wrestling. 161. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're weird!" Leave the restaurant. 162. When walking, talk to yourself constantly. 163. Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't looking. 164. Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing." 165. Go to a gumball machine insert coins until you have a matching pair of fake eyeballs. After attaining these, record the theme song of The Twilight Zone over and over again. Drive down the street wearing the eyeballs and playing The Twilight Zone theme very loud. When you get pulled over, leap into the passenger's seat and claim, "He was here a minute ago, officer!" 166. On a night other than Halloween, get a few friends together and dress like Jason from Friday the 13th. Have each of you stand a mile apart on a highway. 167. After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles. 169. Spread fertilizer on half your neighbor's lawn. 170. Add A535 (liquid heat) to that little hole down the center of someone's anti-perspirant. 171. 172. 173. Add blank entries to lists, to make it look like it's longer. 174. Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your local McDonald's. 175. Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn. 176. Throw newspapers back at paperboys. 177. Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweat pants. 178. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look. 179. At random times in a conversation, say "Hi," "Hello Sir, how are you?" or "Have a good day, thank you." 180. Put electrical tape over the headlights of someone's car. 181. Walk up to random strangers insisting you are family. 182. Dress like a "High-class rich person" and wash windows at random street corners. Demand a dollar in a British accent. 183. When a cop pulls you over, when they step up to your car, drive forward slowly and make them walk. Especially if it's raining. 184. In an office, lock all the doors behind you. 185. Face the back when standing in an elevator. 186. Grin so wide it hurts your cheeks at every salesperson in town. 187. When at an ATM, try to have a conversation with it, or pretend it stole your card. (This works best if there's a line.) 188. Unbend all the paperclips you can find, then replace every eraser you can find with a rubber band. 189. Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!") 190. Sharpen All your pencils to the same size EXACTLY. 191. Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!". 192. Pose as a client at a bank or other professional institution, and when you are seated in front of their desk, keep rearranging the items on top into different patterns and tell them you are "just reorganizing things." 193. Instead of singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, sing 999,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall! 194. Call every girl you know "dude". 195. Recite every song from the Playstation games PaRappa the Rapper and Um Jammer Lammy. 196. Bring a portable CD player to a concert and listen the CD because you insist that it is "Just better quality" 197. Press the "power" button on on someone's computer or keyboard when they're almost finished typing up a long essay, story etc. Apologize sincerely, claiming that you thought it was the focus adjustment. 198. Call 911 and breathe heavily. 200. Mow your carpet. (Or preferably somebody else's) 201. Vacuum your lawn. (See note on 200) 202. Recite shakespearian poetry to everyone you meet. 203. Go to McDonalds and ask for a BK Whopper. 204. Order a pizza and ask them if they can "please put the crust on top this time" in an exasperated voice. 205. Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?" 206. When in an elevator, in different voices, shout out random floors, and then watch as you get there, no one gets off. 207. Also, when riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, "Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?" 208. While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears). 209. Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation. 210. Go up to a someone and say, "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly. 211. Finish each sentence with "Monkey See, Monkey Do". 212. Click your mechanical pencils or your pens during a test in school. 213. Pretend you are invisible. 214. Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly phony sign language. 215. Spend all day at a fast food restaurant and see how long it takes before you have to pay for your "free" refills. 216. Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?" 217. While going down in an elevator scream, "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" for no apparent reason. 218. Call everyone a communist. 219. Explain "the little green men" in detail to someone, and when they don't believe you, accuse them of being one in disguise. 220.. Call your neighbors collect. 221. Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, "And then what happened?" 222. Page yourself over an intercom, but don't disguise your voice. 223. Send people annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like "If you don't send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly" and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle. 224. When walking push an invisible cart and make loud squeaky noises. 225. Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?" 226. Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking. 227. Look at your hand in amazement and say, "Whoa, I never knew I had this!" 228. While driving if you see a "How am I driving" bumper sticker, call the number and inform the operator that the driver is doing a great job. 229. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you. 231. Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, "I know." 232. Sending this list to all of your friends through email. 233. Continue to ask someone, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over. 234. Tap someone on the shoulder repeatedly. 235. Begin every sentence with, "By the Gods!" 236. When you're in an argument, no matter what it's about, keep yelling "I don't see your name on it!". 237. When in public, pretend you are selling something in an infomercial. 238. At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!" 239. Go to a shoe store and try on every shoe, then say that you aren't interested in buying shoes and leave. 240. Put powdered sugar in your hair, sit down next to a stranger, and scratch your head a lot. 241. Turn on the Talk Radio Stations in your car, roll down your windows, and headbang. 242. Walk around with a plastic sword and shield and tell strangers "I must avenge the death of my father." 243. Scotch tape your door as an Anti-theft Device. 244. Super Glue quarters to floors. 245. Put the wrong date and year on the papers you hand in to your teachers. 246. Call random numbers and say "Hi, this is Julie from Basken Robins. If you can name 31 flavors in 31 seconds you get a free scoop." 247. WRIGHT N AL CAPITOL LETERS AND MISSSSSPEL EVRYTHIND!!! 248. Get two cell phones and talk to yourself on them in front of other people. 249. Make a loud and abrupt noise when nobody is looking, then face the other direction when everybody looks your way, pretending the sound came from behind you.
I think 35 fits Schmergo...the numbers are really strange on some of these and I think some of them might be repeats...
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Schmergo
Trusted Girls
Voice of Truth and Insanity
REAL men wear frou-frou!
Posts: 2,558
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Post by Schmergo on Feb 18, 2007 14:09:46 GMT -5
Things on this list that I've done:
22 (or at least, my weird theory of the moment), 35 (Sal was right!), 43, 50 (Hasn't everyone?), 66 (I did that at the Renaissance Faire and it turns out that he really was British), 83, 86, 94, 157, 194 (I call my MOM "dude," as well as complete strangers.)
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CaT24FaN
Trusted Girls
Catherine: WWoW Keeper
~♫=♫=♫~
Posts: 437
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Post by CaT24FaN on Feb 18, 2007 14:29:07 GMT -5
I've done 56, 59, 60, 61, 63 (when I'm real hyper), 85, 86, 92, 118, 124, 134, 163, 191, 212, 245 & 248 (I've done this recently!)
Boo-Yah! ;D
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CaT24FaN
Trusted Girls
Catherine: WWoW Keeper
~♫=♫=♫~
Posts: 437
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Post by CaT24FaN on Mar 19, 2007 15:38:01 GMT -5
Top 24 Jack Bauer Facts Rating (out of 4) 3.30 Jack and Jill went up the hill. Only Jack came down. Jill was a kangarooing terrorist. 3.29 Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours. 3.29 If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice. 3.27 Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys. 3.26 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight. 3.22 The only reason you're conscious right now is because Jack Bauer doesn't want to carry you. 3.20 Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry. 3.19 There were originally five horsemen of the apocalypse. Jack Bauer said he would travel by foot. 3.18 They say you can't go a day without water, Jack Bauer has gone five seasons. 3.15 Jack Bauer sleeps with a gun under the pillow. But he could kill you with the pillow. 3.12 When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack found it and put it back. 3.11 When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack found it and put it back. 3.09 When life hands Jack Bauer Lemons, he kills Terrorists. Jack Bauer kangarooin' hates lemonade. 3.08 As a boy, Jack Bauer interrogated his parents on Easter until they revealed the location and contents of each hidden egg. 3.07 Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away. 3.07 After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload. 3.05 Nostradamus once predicted in his journal: "In the century 21st, the one known as Jacques will be the savior of the world... five seasons in a row." Moments later, Jack Bauer knocked down the door, shot Nostradamus in the kneecaps, and yelled "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!" 3.03 A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Minister walked into a bar... and Jack Bauer is going to find out why... 3.01 Superman has Jack Bauer pajamas. 3.01 Jack Bauer has no friends, because as a child when he would play cops and robbers, the robbers would all be interogated and killed. 3.01 Jack Bauer is the reason Waldo is hiding. 3.01 Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why there's no life on Mars. 3.00 Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man. 3.00 On Jack Bauers Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependants
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Schmergo
Trusted Girls
Voice of Truth and Insanity
REAL men wear frou-frou!
Posts: 2,558
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Post by Schmergo on Mar 19, 2007 15:41:03 GMT -5
I've seen all of those about Chuck Norris. Jeanie Wong is Chuck Norris. ^_^
But I really like the one about Superman's pajamas.
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