R & J...According to Us

[E. R. O'Donnegale]

Remember As WE Like It? Well, guess what? More Shakespeare! This time, we're doing Romeo and Juliet: A Looney Tunes Tragedy, edited by my dad. He added three new characters this time, Super Nanny, who's reading the story and Thing One and Thing Two, who are being read the play.This time around, I got my first choice of characters, Mercutio! Ioe is Romeo, which I find ironic, 'cause last play when he found out he was getting married he nearly fainted. He seemed really excited about it, though, but we just got the news today that he fractured his arm in a football game (in the dark, in the basement of the guy who's playing Lord Montague) by Roy, who's playing Thing Two. One week before Daddy was going to give his "your-bodies-are-not-your-own-for-the-next-four-months" speech. Kay is playing Paris, and it took me several hours to calm him down. He was distraught, especially at Ioe for playing Romeo, the role he wanted (it's what every sensitive thirteen-year-old black belt wants, right?) Bethany, clocking in at about three feet tall last I measured, is playing Juliet, which is strange to me, 'cause she has a habit of pinching people so hard it takes about the next four months to heal. Ioe (pensive, polite and rather touchy as he is) actually compared her to Hitler once, which got my goat. So, it sounds like it'll be a fun cast.
A little about the play: We're using all those classical music bit you hear all the time in cartoons for the soundtrack and all the fight scenes are with giant hammers, frying pans and the like. I'm actually killed by a 16-ton weight.
It's going to be a lot of fun for us, and we hope it'll be fun for the audience, too!

Just had to get that out...I like over-summing-up to people I barely know.

Toodles!

~Elisa

[mousemaylikecheese]

This sounds really interesting. And the battles sound great.

And reminds me of the bizarre idea to do an amalgation of the infamous Potter Puppet Pals "Severus Snape, Severus Snape" and that "Friends, Romans, Countryman..." speech (and I stuck in Chauvelin...and the Anachronic Quisition)

Something like this (sorry):

BENT: Mavolio Bent, Mavolio Bent, Mavolio Bent, Mavolio Bent, Mavolio Bent...

Lawyer-y person: Friends, Englishmen, Wizards, lend me your ears!
I have come to defend Severus Snape, not to bury him in an avalanche of paperwork.
For whatever good he might have done has been buried with Dumbledore
And the evil is summed up in this potion.
So let it be. (Starts singing "Let it Be" for a moment. Bent continues.)
Here I am, with the permission of Harry Potter
He is my client and was my friend, and paid me a bunch of money
But Mr. Potter says he was treacherous
And he is a very honorable man.
He did make a bunch of potions
To help the students and staff of Hogwarts
How was that ambitious?

(SNAPE: muttering frustratedly )

When students cried, Snapt have weep
Honourable is such stern honourableness
Yes, Mr. Potter says he was trecherous
And he is a very honorable man
You all did see that on the.... uh, Triwizard Tournament

(BENT continues. SNAPE holds head in hands)

SNAPCASE: Bother Wuffles! Bother Wuffles! Bother Wuffles! Bother Wuffles! Bother Wuffles!...

I three times presented him... with a slip of paper
Which he wrote on, in violation of Hogwarts Code #57, (instituted by inspector Dolores Umbridge)

CHAUVELIN: whispering Why are all the Louises around me? Why?

singing, in a slightly nasal voice: We've sought him here, we've sought him there
We Republicans sought him everywhere
Is he in heaven?(which, I, Armand Chauvelin bring to your attention as evidence that this song really isn't appropriate for proponents of this new regime, as I am!)
Is he in -(CARDINAL, similar to the one from The Spanish Inquisition Sketch, holds up sign "We apologize; this is a family program")
That - (CARDINAL: Anachronism*!) elusive Pimpernel! (repeats)

(Meanwhile, the Lawyer-y person continued his speech)
I speak not to bring Cedric Diggory to speak in front of a court
Or to summon vampires. I know not what course everyone else will take
-O! Sensibility, you have fled to Diagon Alley
And my coffee cup is empty. Bear with me!
My client is not indeed, bare, and I must pause till the rest of my speech returns...

DUMBLEDORE: Albus Dumbledore, Albus Dumbledore!

Tick! Tick! Tick! Tick!

HARRY POTTER: It's a time bomb!

Everyone flees the courtroom except for BENT, SNAPE, SNAPCASE, and MARVIN the MANICALLY DEPRESSED ROBOT

[alarm clock ringing and singing:]
Bbbrrrriiiinnnngggggggggg!
Rise and shine! The sun's so nice
In the early mornin'
Rise and shine! Time to get up
And have a cup of coffee!

MARVIN: I know no one listens to what I say, but the restaurant was at the other end of the universe. There's only a sandwich at that end.

*which it isn't, but the cardinal tends to say that all the time.