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Post by Kiren Brockett on Mar 11, 2006 12:05:57 GMT -5
I just got two calls from telemarketers. Here are the conversations. (Names have been changed to protect me from being tracked down and eaten.)
Susie: Hello, is Mr. Brockett there?
Me: He can't come to the phone at the moment. May I ask who'd calling?
Susie: I'm Susie from *mumblemumble* Insurance Company. Is this his wife?
Me: No, this is the burglar who's robbing their house!
Susie: They're being robbed? Well then they really need thisa new insu-
Me: *hangs up*
Frank: Hello, is this Mrs. Amelia Brockett?
Me: *in British accent* I'm afraid there's nobody by the name of Amelia here. I'm Molly Weasley.
Frank: Oh, I'm sorry. Well, Mrs. Weasley, we at *company* were wondering if you'd like to try our new vacuum cleaner free for two weeks. It's a great-
Me: Hold on for a moment, dear. Fred, George, Ron, stop banging around up there! It sounds like a herd of hippogriffs! *back to phone* So, how much would this vaccuum cost? I'm considering getting it for my husband as an anniversery present. Arthur does love eckeltricity.
Frank: *thouroghly weirded out* Well, for the first two weeks it's free, and if you want to keep it, it'll be *something* dollars.
Me: Oh, dear... Muggle money. How much is that in normal money?
Frank: Normal... what?
Me: You know... Knuts, Sickles, and Galleons. So, does this have any plugs?
Frank: I'm going to hang up now lady.
Me: Oh, please don't.
Frank: *hangs up*
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Kloud
Trusted Girls 
Not Celery
If you ever wanted to know what an Ewioy Plushie looks like... there you go.
Posts: 730
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Post by Kloud on Mar 11, 2006 12:45:39 GMT -5
XD That's brilliance. Pure brilliance. I had an interesting time with a telemarketer once. o-o
Me: *picks up phone* Hello?
Snowman Bob: Hello. This is Snowman Bob from *insert company name here* Would you like a free membership for three months?
Me: Not interested. *hangs up*
*Five minutes later*
Me: *picks up phone* Hello?
Snowman Bob: That wasn't very nice.
Me: *hangs up*
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Schmergo
Trusted Girls
Voice of Truth and Insanity
REAL men wear frou-frou!
Posts: 2,558
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Post by Schmergo on Mar 12, 2006 16:31:20 GMT -5
This is hilarious! I only did this once:
Telemarketer: Hello! My name is Florence! Are you the lady of the house?
Me: Noooo, I'm the MAN of the house!
Telemarketer: Sorry, sir!
Me: *hangs up*
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Post by Kiren Brockett on Mar 19, 2006 15:57:05 GMT -5
I also did this.
Jeb: Hello. Are you interested in a second mor-a-tage?
Me: Not really.
Jeb: Are you sure?
Me: Does it come with french fries?
Jeb: No, ma'am.
Me: Well, then SCRAM!
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Post by Hermioneabbeyjewel on Mar 26, 2006 14:06:33 GMT -5
hahahaha did you make those up?or did you actually say that to them?
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Post by Kiren Brockett on Mar 26, 2006 14:58:14 GMT -5
I actually, truly said that to them. *grins*
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Post by artemisfowl on Apr 1, 2006 11:38:12 GMT -5
oh man. i did something like that once. here's what happened.
telemarketer: hi, is this mr *says my last name wrong*?
me: no, this is the future ruler of the universe.
telemarketer: really?
me: yes. absolutely.
telemarketer: then you want to buy this plan...
me: there will be no need for that when the universe is mine.
*telemarketer HANGS UP!*
don't telemarketers usually not hang up?
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Post by Hermioneabbeyjewel on Apr 2, 2006 16:30:15 GMT -5
-audible laughter- what is your last name ...I beg of thee... tell me it is not fowl!!!!!!!!!!
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Schmergo
Trusted Girls
Voice of Truth and Insanity
REAL men wear frou-frou!
Posts: 2,558
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Post by Schmergo on Apr 2, 2006 19:56:12 GMT -5
His last name is not Fowl, sorry to disappoint you! But I can't reveal it, because that's baaad.
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Post by blackbelt on Apr 7, 2006 16:27:14 GMT -5
Here's one I did:
TM(Telemarketer): Hello, this is <Name bleeped out>. Are you interested in an <Bleeped out>?
Me: Stop playing. I know it's you, Bob.
TM: I am no Bob.
Me: Yes you are! I'm NOT sending $50 to your house again. You already tried that with me. It's not gonna work again.
TM: I think you are mistaken-
Me: No, YOU'RE mistaken. I'm not giving you any more money!
TM: But-
Me: No buts! You're just trying to get back at me for <Bleeped out> your girlfriend! *Hangs up*
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Post by artemisfowl on Apr 8, 2006 10:39:41 GMT -5
hilarious, dude. you should have your own show.
if anyone can tell me what that quote's from, they win some karma.
EDIT: it's not harry potter...
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Schmergo
Trusted Girls
Voice of Truth and Insanity
REAL men wear frou-frou!
Posts: 2,558
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Post by Schmergo on Apr 12, 2006 8:31:17 GMT -5
Why, that's from Artemis Fowl, The Opal Deception! Your namesake! Huzzah! Huzzah! I win!
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Post by strwberryblondie(potter4life) on Apr 12, 2006 13:54:09 GMT -5
i love messing with telemarketers. they are so stupid sometimes. and they ALWAYS misprononuce my name! ALWAYS
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Post by Kiren Brockett on Apr 12, 2006 14:00:21 GMT -5
Hehe. I love it as well! I'm at the library right now... with Schmergo... researching Finland and such...
Another telemarketer conversation...
Maxwell: Hello, I'm Maxwell from (company)
Me: Oh my gosh, Maxwell! I haven't seen you in years!
Maxwell: Maam?
Me: Don't you remember me? I'm Geraldine from college!
Maxwell: Um... I didn't go to college. Grades weren't good enough.
Me: Stinks to be you. *hangs up*
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Schmergo
Trusted Girls
Voice of Truth and Insanity
REAL men wear frou-frou!
Posts: 2,558
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Post by Schmergo on Apr 15, 2006 13:28:36 GMT -5
Oh, you're evil. So you were looking up stuff on the computer, huh? Yeah, right.
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Post by strwberryblondie(potter4life) on Apr 18, 2006 5:03:37 GMT -5
i answer the phone the same way my mother does, so they always think i'm her so they're like, Hello, Mrs. Wilkins? Hello, so i was wondering if ........... and i'm just like excuse me? i'm a teenager and i'm not talking to you. hang up the phone.
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Post by artemisfowl on Apr 26, 2006 17:39:34 GMT -5
sure schmergo, you win. have some karma.
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Post by blackbelt on Apr 30, 2006 14:22:34 GMT -5
i love messing with telemarketers. they are so stupid sometimes. and they ALWAYS misprononuce my name! ALWAYS You think they mispronounce YOUR name? Imagine how they pronounce my name! |
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Post by strwberryblondie(potter4life) on Apr 30, 2006 14:27:00 GMT -5
well i'm just saying
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Post by Kiren Brockett on Apr 30, 2006 19:08:46 GMT -5
Ouch..... It's hard to mispronounce my name... but easy to mispronounce Kiren Brockett.
Random people: Keee-rin? Krane? Karen?
Me: It rhymes with Pie Den and the emphasis is on the REN!
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