Fun With Google

[Schmergo]

Search random phrases, then post them here with the number of google results that turned up.

"There is no such thing as space people"-- 10.

"Robespierre is so cute"-- 5

"Snape's On A Plane"-- 708

"Schmergo, you're awesome!"--3

"I hate pizza"-- 876

"I hate anime"-- 25,000

"I hate Lord of the Rings"--1,710

"Death is adorable"-- 6

"Moist is hardcore"-- 1

"Aku scares me"-- 1

"Neville is hot"-- 5

"Daniel Radcliffe's eyebrows"-- 34 (Search this, the results are hilarious)

"Snape hula dancing"-- 2

"I love spaghettios"-- 22 (Why only that many???)

"Percy is a genius"-- 8

"Percy is an idiot"-- 1,100

"Terrence Mann" "creepy-looking"-- 5

"Terrence Mann is so hot"-- 3 (And the people who think he's creepy looking winnn! HOORAY!-- he's a good actor, but really creepy-looking)

"Chauvelin is so cute"-- 0

"Percy is so cute"-- 8

"Who the heck is George Clooney?"-- 1

"I hate Orlando Bloom"-- 1,720

"I hate Zac Efron"-- 630

"Zac Efron looks like a muppet"--5

"I hate Daniel Radcliffe"-- 526

"He looks just like my hedgehog, but smaller"-- 1

"I hate Patrick Wilson"-- 5

"Pouncy Boots"-- 3

"That is not a mustache"-- 4

"Schmergo is cool"-- 0

[Kiren Brockett]

"Everybody loves Chauvelin" - 1 (Ha!)

"Aku" "pure evil" - 1,840

"cabbage is absolute yum" - 0

"Toby is so cute" -3,400

"How to cut oranges with pinking shears" - 0

"Snape is just a big teddy bear" - 0

"I win at life" -1,020

ninja!Bossuet - 0

"How Citizen Chauvelin eats a Reeses" - 0

"So, this one time, in Denmark" - 0

[Schmergo]

ME AND MY BRO GOT THESE RESULTS:

Foot grenades-- 139

Danny Is Teh Hotness-- 1 (An actual quote from this webpage: "When he leaps, it looks like he's flying. <sigh>. ")

I am Helium Puffa Jacket Blue Paint Boy-- 3

Snape is cuddly-- 1

I hate Kronk- 2

I love Kronk-- 329

Principal Amzy is Yzma-- 1 (No one else has figured it out!)

Zac Efron's eyebrows-- 25 (hilarious results!)

Shut up, Kyra-- 117

Shut up, Van-- 6,950

Shut up, Zac Efron-- 5

I am a sad, sad toaster made of glass-- 286

[Kiren Brockett]

"I heart the monarchy" - 2

"Terrence Mann is teh rockest" - 0

"I taste like chicken" -5,470

"Snape's lip gloss" - 0 (Good!)

"Zac Efron" "Victor Hugo" - 587

"I do enjoy frogs" - 6

"Daniel Radcliffe's eyebrows are majestic" - 4

"Darth Sidious is so cute" - 0

[Schmergo]

Quasimodo is sexy-- 1

Phoebus is sexy-- 1

Frollo is sexy-- 1

Mufasa is hot-- 5 (DEAD LIONS PWN MEDIEVAL FRENCHMEN! TAKE THAT, VICTOR HUGO!)

I love Quasimodo-- 9

I love Phoebus--6

I love Frollo- 9 (What? He's tied with Quasimodo?")

I love Mufasa-- 223 (Sorry, boys!)

I love Scar-- 5,810 (Sorry, Mufasa!)

I love Thenardier-- 0 (Sorry, Thenardier!)

I love Javert-- 7

I love Chauvelin-- 1 (Actual quote: "I love Chauvelin! Sexy beast, and his bloodlusty ways!" 0_0)

I love Terrence Mann-- 10. (Somehow, there's something significant about the fact that he's better loved than Javert or Chauvelin, but I'm not sure what it is.)

I love Schmergo-- 0. (Ha! I'm tied with Thenardier!)

Tyrone's mustache-- 1

[Kiren Brockett]

"I love Chauvelin" - 4, NOT 1

"I love Grindelwald" - 39

"Jean-Paul Marat" "pudding" - 412

"Robespierre's skills as an orator can best be described as OMG fail." - 0

"Terrence Mann should play Edna Turnblad" - 0

"sexy hunk of man meat" - 821

"Javert is cuddly" - 0

"Marius Pantsmercy" - 0

"Schmergo's mustache" - 0

"hoverboard derring-do" - 10

"Courfeyrac's Pad of Sexiness" - 0

"Sweeney Todd needs a hug" - 0

"Sweeney Todd needs a mustache" - 0

"Tyrone is modest" - 1

"I despise kittens" - 5

"I despise Chauvelin" - 0 (Ha!)

"Frou-frou is hardcore" - 0

[Schmergo]

Aku- my internet has SafeSearch, so I get less results than you.

I actually laughed at almost everything you searched. You are clearly much more creative than me. How is "Courfeyrac's Pad of Sexiness" not on the internet yet? Sweeney Todd needs a mustache... hehehe... that is a bizarrely hilarious mental image.

Here is a phrase my brother just uttered: "I was doing my toilet song and dance."

[Kiren Brockett]

Or I clearly have too much time on my hands. Take your pick.

"I adore math" - 184 ()

"I take pride in being normal" - 1

"I take pride in being weird" - 10

"I take pride in being deceased" - 0

"I would name my child Wulfric" - 0 (Pity.)

"Aku is real?" - 1

[Schmergo]

I hate being weird-- 3

I hate being normal-- 2,120

I hate being a werewolf-- 2

I love being a werewolf-- 5

I love my mustache-- 9

I hate my mustache-- 1

I love your mustache--1,140

I hate your mustache-- 6

You don't have a mustache-- 24,300 (I love reading the results for this. Actual quote: "If you don't have a mustache, people think you are making fun of them. So in other words, a mustache is a great way to expand your cultural horizon")

Toilet song and dance-- 1 (NOT about my brother)

"He's the Prime Minister" "Band name"-- 2

Kamikaze burrito-- 127

Zombies are cuddly-- 1

Zombies are sexy-- 580

Watch out for Keith-- 2,050

[Kiren Brockett]

"Javert is suave" - 0

"Aku is normal" - 0

"Aku is weird" - 3

"I love my sideburns" - 1,140

"I hate my sideburns" - 3

"Aren't you fictional?" - 3

"as modern as a Latvian hotel" - 0

"Take that, Victor Hugo!" - 4

"Hagrid is sexy" - 5

[Beverly Marie]

"Today's hailstorm was more damaging than Severus Snape against shampoo" - 0

"Platypus feet are tasty" - 0

"Never, ever eat a llama" - 0

"I killed Napoleon. What are you going to do about it?" - 0

"Humperdink is a swear word" - 0

"Patience is a virtue, my small and furry friend" - 0
Which is surprising, because I seem to use that phrase a lot.

"Shopping is known to cause cancer" - 0

"Nobody ever died of cancer" - 1
This one has a pretty funny story to it. My dad and my sister were talking about how some people think that re-using a plastic water bottle can cause cancer, and eventually my dad said, 'Nobody has ever died of cancer.' Of course, he meant from water bottles, but my sister and I thought it was hilarious.

"Poke me, please" - 523

"Pajama Llamas Rule!" - 0
The Pajama Llamas is the name of my brother's dodgeball team.

"A little radioactive poisoning won't kill you" - 0

"Beware of Edward" - 0

Wow. I've never evaded any google results so easily in my life.

[mousemaylikecheese]

Count Olaf singing scat--702

Minerva McGonagall hates pomegranates--653, though no full text, I think.

Can Cornelia Funke read Elvish?--1,640

Snape is not a llama!--3,910

Lucius did not know how to read Estonian.--5,820

Albus Dumbledore wrote Pitsilised Koekirjad.--0 (that being an out-of-print Estonian lace stitch dictionary that am searching for madly)

Albus Dumbledore is an avid reader of EZ.--24

James Norrington eating cheesecake.-320

Sirius Black avoiding the French Revolution--109,000

"You killed my cephalopod"--25 in all (look this one up!)

"His homepage involves sheep"--0

Voldemort was vanquished with a sock.--608

"Obstacles arose, ensued, were overcome."--1

"When Voldemort said "and in the darkness bind them""--2

The toaster screamed at Draco Malfoy.--1,070

Harry had cheese sauce on his nose and a maraschino cherry in his hair.--545

"Tom Riddle's hair is blue."--0

All your cheese went to Prague with Amygdalus the bat.--30

"Bandobras" "Ulalume"--1

"I knew I was fulling"--0

"uninvited Gryffindors"--0

Nobody expects a Gaunt family reunion!--10,400

"Nobody expects a Gaunt family reunion!"--0

Hermione found Draco puzzling over the list of commands.--774

The Half Blood Prince ate unsweetened rhubarb.--195

Count Olaf loves Vivian.--50,500

"Sirius Black disguised as Umbridge"--0

Alan Rickman eats cheerful and sunny dispositions.--120

Voldemort explained that Goyle's rum was gone.--261

Flitwick was very fond of fabric stores.--2,560

Monsignor 2.17 Malfoy--1

When Fleur ate those iPods--31,700

To Harry, Voldemort offered a green persimmon.--22

Petunia Dursley accidentally put cashmere in her coffee.--18

James Norrington rode a sheep when he was 2 years old.--125

Mr. Rochester licked a lemon and put it in the microwave.--2,640

"My little cockatrice"--3

Pish, tosh, and bally nonsense--106

"Patsy mispronounced Mackinac."-0

Gonff was covered in peanut butter.--37

Cutler Beckett kidnapped Reepicheep in exchange for a shrubbery.--0

(OT: Curiously enough, I googled the name I came up with for Severus's eldest daughter in my fandom, and, even though I didn't know this, Ailen means "little coal" although it's possible that I pronounce it differently than it is supposed to be pronounced. Interesting, and slightly appropriate)

[Kiren Brockett]

These are all marvelous. Highly marvelous. And thank you, Beverly/Elizabeth/I'msoconfused...

"Edward Cullen is dreamy" - 8

"Slartibartfast is dreamy" - 0

"Pumbaa is dreamy" - 0

"Humpback whales are dreamy" - 0

"Robespierre is a cat" - 2 (Actual quote- "Robespierre is a cat, while Marat is a toad")

"Aku is a kitty" - 0 (Take THAT, Kane!)

"that would be a good name for a band" - 1,200

"The butler did it" - 139,000 (The first one is a Gerard Butler fansite.)

Schmergo cannibalism - 4 (Um....)

[Schmergo]

You're very strange, Mouse. ^_^ Aku, I'm afraid you spelled Pumbaa wrong, which is probably why you got no results.

"Valjean is cute"-- 1
"Javert is cute"-- 0 (-audible laughter-Z!)
"My cat ate my arm"-- 3
"Do you kids like jazz?"-- 2
"Furious magician"--2350
"Schmergo" "Fluffy hair"-- 6
"Marius is a cutie"-- 3
"Marius smells"-- 7
"Take off your pants, Monsieur Marius"-- 0 (Dangit!)
"Kane's beard"-- 44
"Aku's glasses"-- 1
"Schmergo's sparkling, effervescent beauty"-- 0 (Darn!)
"I didn't want sideburns"-- 2
"Friendly mutton chops"-- 857 (Now I'm curious)
"I like my men psychopathic and hideously deformed"-- 0
"Chicken cake"-- 7060
"Sweeney Todd can swing my razor anyday"-- 0
"He smells like death"-- 271
"He smells like death, but not in that nasty sort of way"--1

[mousemaylikecheese]

Further fun with Google--Headlines that I really don't think I want to see:

Severus Snape has joined the Gothic Archies--8

Sirius Black +sued Voldemort--1,580

Dumbledore bought 1000000000 euros worth of qiviut.--0

Walburga Black has affair with unnamed Muggle.--62

Luna Lovegood discovered that the Snark is really a Boojum.--2

Sauron smuggles Severus Snape's sickles into Sirius's stocks.--5 (none of which are coherent results)

Tobias Snape killed by a watermelon--501 (aren't I evil diabolical? Ha-ha-ha-hummus!)

through back watermellon loops--125,000 (Not a headline--An initial way to speak to you ! PITTAGALL )

Count Olaf laughed uncanonically.--9

Esme Squalor is now the Black Pearl's third most important captive.--138

Voldemort demands a ham sandwich--528

[Remora]

Cheesecake rules Albania-12,100

Frodo gave the ring to Voldemort for 10 Galleons-866

Hitler wore a tutu to the opera-9,590

I am madly in love with James Norrington-562

[mousemaylikecheese]

Yours are even funnier than mine, Remora.

A few more:

Voldemort threw a cream pie at the mannequin--169

Albus Dumbledore is a Death Eater!--183,000

Ham Sandwich Eaters and Death When You Feel Faint!--4,280

concrete piano raven polonaise gherkin--879

Ham Sandwich Heaters--17,000

James Norrington clones Snape with a pancake on his head--32 (thanks, Remora!)

Slytherin Earl Grey tea--880

Socks as weapons against obsessively hungry hares--11,600

I heart Voldemort--1,690,000(!)

Arthur Weasley is entirely too obsessed with muggle devices.--166

Napoleon ate a tacky fish.--15,400

You have not been warned penguins, ravens, guacamole and/or icing may prove to be dangerous.--20

Salazar Slytherin's concession stand--20 *

"I ate my tea bag"--0

Tim the Enchanter writes again! About Communism--681

The moon is chartreuse.--269,000

+Death +Eaters covered in seaweed and sock yarn.--402

"I love Voldemort"--1,670(!)

"I love Count Olaf"--56


*(this is an inside joke--according to my fanfic, Salazar told Rowena he would concede to her [entirely contrary] views when their descendants were as family, someone mentioned his possible concession, and a particularly dim Slytherin student thought that they were trying to imply that Salazar Slytherin worked at a concession stand!)

[Beverly Marie]

"Jacob Black and Remus Lupin are two conflicting specimen" - 0
Without quotes, 58, but those are really random and have nothing to do with the phrase.

"My bloody ear is... bloody" - 0

"Chlorine killed the cat" - 0

teuscher chocolate go asplode - 0

purple pansies make pink weaklings - 704
Somehow some of the first results for this one involves elves and orcs and Harry Potter... weird.

"Aku" "Schmergo" "uh-oh" - 1

[mousemaylikecheese]

American Pie R Squared shawl New, Improved! With Oggs! - 237

a little white door labeled Dumble-5,450

Wolfgang is terribly, horribly, absolutely horrifically tiny.-342

"The Vole of Death"-6

[beaternumber1]

I dropped a weight on my foot- 57

I'm sorry you are deceased- 0

Bombleboon-3

Juggling rattlesnakes- 109

Drawing deep dimples- 1

Pie tastes best the second time- 48

This is fun!