THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

[Schmergo]

Okay, a girl rants about her dislike for Twilight... you can skip it if you wish... because THEN COMES THE TWILIGHT SPOOF. Possibly the funniest thing ever.

otahyoni.livejournal.com/130432.html

Oh my gosh... I DIED. The best part (beside the ending) was the 'casually tearing boulders to shreds with his toes.' Even people who love Twilight have to admit it's true.

If you hate Twilight, go to this journal: buttfacemakani.livejournal.com For a running commentary of Twilight hatred, but it's not QUITE as funny.

[Remora]

I read and loved both of them! Thanks for posting those links, Schmergo, otherwise there would be one less laughing person in this dull town I call home...Or at least one less person laughing for a reason that doesn't involve messing up during a school play and accidentally sounding like they were asking someone out when they weren't.

[Remora]

This is pretty funny, too: www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1155348.html

I mean, can't that kerrie person just let it go? *rolls eyes. I also found this hillarious link a few comments down on there to someone's DeviantArt and saved the picture on it.

i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj249/clumsywerewolf2438/e68024b002996206ec9ddf8001e72e81.jpg

[Schmergo]

Oh my gosh... I *love* the bit with Edward frolicking. And I must admit that's the best possible summary of Twilight... Bella looks just like Bella, too.

Though that post on livejournal, I really don't have anything to disagree with there. She has her own personal preferences and I have mine, and even she conceded that JK Rowling is a more 'professional' writer. The Twilight books are 'more mature and sexier' in tone-- that's kind of the point of the books. And although I think the characters in Harry Potter are far more interesting, I understand that some people think the Twilight vampires are cooler. And she never said that Harry Potter was bad. *Shrug* I wasn't too outraged by that.

She also said, "Just to clear the air, I never ever tried to force anyone to like Twilight, I only reccomended it and listed the reaons why i like it. If thats a crime, then take me away to jail hehe," which makes me feel bad for her. I'm a member of a Les Miserables website, but almost every single post I make gets attacked, because I hate Enjolras and I think if he'd lived, he'd have turned into Frollo, and I think he's not gay, all things that make me a pariah. Also, I think Terrence Mann is a better singer than Philip Quast, and Randy Graff is a better singer than Ruthie Henshall, and Michael Maguire is a better Enjolras than Anthony Warlow. And I'm WAAAAY less intelligent than anyone else on the site... including Aku.


I watched Sharkboy and Lava Girl yesterday. It was so bad, it wasn't even funny. At first, I found its horribleness hilarious, but then it just got old. And the kid who played Sharkboy will be playing Jacob Black. *Hangs head*

[Remora]

She also said, "Just to clear the air, I never ever tried to force anyone to like Twilight, I only reccomended it and listed the reaons why i like it. If thats a crime, then take me away to jail hehe," which makes me feel bad for her. I'm a member of a Les Miserables website, but almost every single post I make gets attacked, because I hate Enjolras and I think if he'd lived, he'd have turned into Frollo, and I think he's not gay, all things that make me a pariah. Also, I think Terrence Mann is a better singer than Philip Quast, and Randy Graff is a better singer than Ruthie Henshall, and Michael Maguire is a better Enjolras than Anthony Warlow.

Yeah, that's why I think she should have let it go sooner, because she kept getting attacked. I mean, there was a flame war a while back on my site and it didn't stop until the person who started it (by opposing the person who was in kerrie's shoes) was threatened and the person who was attacked (the metaphorical kerri) stopped posting and went to a different area to post. I actually feel bad for Kerrie, too.

[Kiren Brockett]

Hehehe. That Twilight spoof was hilarious. And true.

However, I still like the books. As long as you don't expect them to be anything more than what they are, they're good enough. Jacob is a little bit like Ted on steroids, too. ... Which would mean that Edward would have to be Jordan on steroids. ... ... ... Huh.

[Schmergo]

That's okay, I like High School Musical, which is infinitely worse taste. I'm even going to be in it this summer.

Anyway! I don't like Twilight, but I have nothing against people who DO like it; it's just not my kind of book, and I'm sure I'd like it more if (a. Romance appealed more to be (b. Edward was my type. The only time I have anything against Twilight fans is when they say something particularly stupid and patently untrue (Actual quote: "You /skim/ To Kill A Mockingbird. You /read/ Twilight." ) But that goes for any fandom... including Harry Potter and Les Miserables and Discworld, my own book fandomsss. In fact, most Twilight fans are quite smart, so I have less problems than with many Harry Potter fanatics.

[Remora]

I don't have anything against liking the book, either, but from what I've experienced of the Twilight fandom (teenage girls from Utah), they are incredibly rude--they seriously snarled at me when I said I prefered Jacob to Edward and they said some really rude things to me--think it's "more professional writing than Harry Potter" (even Kerrie, who was as die-hard as any of the fans I knew admitted what Stephanie Meyer herself did, that it wasn't) and that anyone who prefered Harry Potter to Twilight either had no sense or hadn't read it. I'm not exaggerating or kidding, and this is probably the main reason why I'm so prejudiced against it, even more than the fact that romance isn't really down my alley.

That's okay, I like High School Musical, which is infinitely worse taste. I'm even going to be in it this summer.

HSM 3 or just a school play? I've never seen the actual movie, but my high school did a play version and it was pretty good. I've never seen the second one, but I probably should, since I know/have seen, like, half the extras...

[Schmergo]

Just a community play. If I were gonna be in the movie, I'd make a much bigger deal out of it. ^_^ I absolutely hated the second HSM movie... that is, there were bits of dialogue and stuff that I thought were funny, but all of the songs were literally painful. I couldn't bring myself to watch it a second time. I liked the first one a lot, though almost the entire cast (with the exception of Lucas Grabeel) was terrible.

I'm trying out for the role of Mrs. Darbis...

[mousemaylikecheese]

I do the same thing (in ref to Les Misrebles, though I'm not familiar with it) with Harry Potter--I insist Dumbledore is not gay¹ (Oh, come on, couldn't you come up with a better plot device. I mean, even a totally crazy ABPWD/EZ(one-sided, as the result of a love potion) sounds better.), I've totally wracked HP fandom universe out of normality, I've mess around with ancestry, I've goofed around with character ages and relations. But I usually do that with fanfic. I ship TMR/M.MG, SS/(original character)LB, SS(the other SS)/RR, TCG/ANM (which, though this won't make much sense, is a pairing between a descendant of Slytherin and a descendant of Ravenclaw; their full names are Thrascia C. Gaunt and Alex(ander) N. Mazzim) and, surprise, surprise, surprise, B(ella)M(azzim)/E(phineus)P(rince) Tee-hee-hee! Can you guess where I'm going with this?

I've never read twilight, but I cracked up at the summary. oddly enough, I've been reading Dracula recently. Haven't finished it, but it's quite interesting so far. And what *was* I going to google?

Totally random: have you read this: The Dead Voldemort Sketch?

¹I don't approve of gay marriage, though that doesn't mean I hate people who make that choice. I just frankly think that because Dumbledore (why did I attempt to type Voldemort, exactly?) is a fictional character, the author didn't have to choose this path. (Am I the only fanfic author who has felt the power to manipulate characters, you know, and shape them? Although sometimes the characters take their own paths...)

[Luna Natashi]

Too funny. I love the comic.

[Luna Natashi]

I almost choked on the pretzel I was eating when I read this. You have to follow the first link Schmergo gave, before you do. Or it won't be nearly as humorous. (Comical, even.)

The characters (contrary to what some people are saying), are highly developed, so much so that reading about them makes my heart stop.

I thinks it's funny. That part anyway. By the way, the characters do not seem realistic or well developed to me. That's an opinion, granted, but it's my opinion and I tend to make them known.

[heiressofinsanity]

-audible laughter-, schmergo, that is the funniest rant about Twilight I've ever seen! XDXDXD And the sad thing is, it's all true. I lurved the spoof as well...I am so emailing this to my friend Sam...and all of my other friends...And I'll have to check out the other ones as well! You've totally made my day (er...night. whatever.) =D


EDIT:

'fantasy story for older Harry Potter fans who are looking for something a bit deeper.'

Because 'ohmigod edward i love you and the rest of my life is now totally meaningless' is deeper, right? XD OH, and:

'with actual romance instead of teenage romance'

#1: Bella is sixteen when she meets Edward. Apparently that is not teen enough for you?
#2: Harry and Ginny/Ron and Hermy get MARRIED. They don't date for eternity (not that E&B do...) That's a lame comeback, but it's true. I think Eddie and Bella are still pretty teenaged throughout the saga...

[bb]

THAT WAS WONDERFUL!

Yeah, really. Hilarious. Awesome. -audible laughter-. The parody was just... it sounded EXACTLY like something Meyer would come up with!

~BB

[mousemaylikecheese]

Otto Chriek and Vlad and Salacia and just basically every single vampire on the Discworld must be much cooler than these Twilight characters! And they come with plots! I mean, iconographer! Villain-esque person! Spy in the watch! And Don'tgonearthe Castle! A shirt that says "I *HEART* Uberwald!"

...how some vampires are vegetarians

Black Ribboners! Oh, and I forgot Lady Margoletta*

...he falls in love with his singer...

Like the phantom [of the [A-M] Opera]?!!!!!(urinating dog, urinating dog, urinating dog, urinating dog, urinating dog**)

Sing for me, my angel! Sing for me![/b]

*Are there ships out there with her and Vetinari together? I mean, I don't think I would, but it seems like there's a hint of history there and stuff.

**E-bikkits to anyone who understands this! (or the bikkits!)

[Schmergo]

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the Discworld vampires! I seem to remember 'urinating dog,' but I'm not sure I can recall exactly what it was referring to... I don't read Discworld fanfiction because I feel no one but Pterry can get it right, but I'm sure there are Vetinari/Margolotta shippers out there. I've always hoped Vetinari was a vampire and his addiction was power. Or something.

Speaking of Twilight-- check this out. I almost died. It's too hilarious. DOn't read if you're offended by Edward being portrayed as a green space alien named Xlormp. xlormp.livejournal.com/553.html

[Ankh]

Um, Xlormp looks very similar to the term "glomp."
Weird.

[Luna Natashi]

I just found a Twilight fan fiction site. (I swear I was loooking for Twilight spoofs.) Their most recent "high-quality" story is this:

She's not your typical cheerleader by Lisa3 New! Rated: PG-13 [Reviews - 99]
Summary: Bella and Alice are All Star cheerleaders who are getting ready to start their junior year in high school. Alice's cousin Edward just moved into town from out of state. Bella is instantly attracted to him. Will she let her insecurities and stubborn nature get in the way of true love?
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, James, Jasper, Jessica, Lauren, Renee, Rosalie, Tanya
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 22 Completed: No Word count: 55424

[Schmergo]

By the way, Luna-- the Xlormp story has TWENTY chapter. My sister and I have read them all... sadly, the story's not completed yet, but I suggest you go to xlormp.livejournal.com and check them out.

That summary sounds hilarious. If you go to ff.net, you can see all kinds of similarly terrible summaries, all of them 100% serious:

Forbidden to Love » by angelicsweety0808 reviews
Edward & Rose have been together for awhile,and are madly in love. But when Edward comes across a beautiful brown eyed girl, Will he become love crossed? How will Rose handle it? Not well... All human. AU. "You are forbidden to love Bella!" "Never!"

[theaceofspades]

This chickencrap.com/c.php?c=1643